Naming your unborn child (when you’re a teacher)

March 25, 2016

Hubby and I are having particular difficulty coming up with a name for our little girl. This seems to be primarily because we are both teachers!

Don’t get me wrong, we love working with children and appreciate their many positive qualities but, like adults, children are human and as such have a few negative qualities too!
Anyway, although we need to come up with a girl’s name, this guide equally applies to boy’s names.

How to name your unborn child (When you’re a teacher)

Step 1: Immediately discount any of those names. You know, the ones you see on the class list at the start of the year and think, oh great, they’re going to be a pain in the arse. And then they always are.

Step 2: Further discount the name of that child who always went out of his/her way to upset other children, displayed psychopathic tendencies even at the age of ten and you’re fairly sure is going to end up in prison for fatally harming someone one day (thankfully I’ve only taught one of these, but I suppose statistically there must be a few out there).

Step 3: Compile a list of other names you like the sound of.

Step 4: Remove any names which are likely to attract sniggers in the staff room as the new intake list is shared amongst the staff. This includes random hyphenations, ‘interesting’ spellings (yes I know, you were trying to be different, I’m sorry), and names that when combined with your surname create initials that spell rude words.

Step 5: Remove any names that belong to children who were a bit whingey or constantly fell out with others.

Step 6: Diagree with your husband over the shortlist of three names you have left because he’s already applied steps 1-5 to them and they don’t qualify.

Step 7: Cry in despair until you finally find something you both like and survives the aforementioned criteria. Then whatever you do, don’t tell a soul; especially not your teacher friends!


16 responses to “Naming your unborn child (when you’re a teacher)”

  1. I live this!! We had so much trouble deciding on our daughters name as I’m a teacher and every name we can up with, a knew I child with it and just couldn’t disassociate the child with the name!! We eventually went down my partners Italian route and settled on Mia! 🙂

    • Jules says:

      A lovely choice! (I have of course immediately remembered a Mia I’ve taught, but she was a lovely girl!!) X

  2. Naomi says:

    We had exactly the same issue! What I realised was that once you name your child, you then have a strange attachment to children you teach with the same name. We found a girl’s name impossible to choose, but we’ve had two boys so it was ok!

    • Jules says:

      Oh no, this doesn’t fill me with hope for choosing a girl’s name! I’m sure we’ll get there in the end…!

  3. Madeline says:

    Haha, brilliant! My sister is a teacher and I know she pretty much went through this process when choosing names for her 3 girls! My Mum was a teacher too, and I wonder if that played a part in the names she chose for us. x #TheList

  4. Alice says:

    I had this with my girls! Bloody hard work. we got there in the end.

  5. As a teacher, I totally hear you on all of these! Amazingly, I managed to find a name for my son that I had never taught in 9 years of teaching, so his name was free from any connotations-positive or negative! #thelist

    • Jules says:

      Sounds brilliant! Is it an unusual name? Have you taught a child with the same name since he was born? x

  6. Oh so true and I am now on my third child which is absolutely impossible to name! My other two have names that I associate with two gorgeous little girls I taught a long time ago- hopefully I’ll find a name for this one soon!! #TheList

    • Jules says:

      Hopefully we’ll come up with one soon! I think it’s hard because even when it’s a name that belongs to a child I’m really fond of I almost see it as ‘taken’! We’ll have to get there in the end! x

  7. Silly Mummy says:

    Haha – not a teacher, but the child of two! & I had this – I would be thinking of names, & my parents would be saying ‘children with that name are always nightmares’! It’s a good job I had just girls, as I liked lots of girls’ names that were passed as only having been associated with nice children. My already limited boys’ names choices, however, were declared to be disastrous! #thelist

    • Jules says:

      Haha we’re not telling our parents our potential names as they’ll only share their opinion and make things harder! x

  8. Brilliant! It’s hard enough coming up with a name you love, without having so many that are on the ‘no’ list before you even start. X

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